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o Practicing Civility
o
David L. Nielsen, S.G.I.G.
s Several years ago, at the Conference of Grand intelligence to engage in civil discourse on tough
s Masters, I saw two presentations on a need and calling subjects without getting into the political mud. If we
n to restore civility to American culture and especially in are to experiment in civil conversations on hot-button
e the political arena. One, in particular, was an exercise topics, here are some suggestions that will help sustain
e in how to have a civil discussion on a topic that clearly the civility:
e had political emotions. There were six participants —
s two for the proposition, two against and two neutral. 1) Be steadfast in keeping the discussion civil at all
r Some of the ground rules included the participants times. Avoid labeling or prejudging others.
l looking at the others when speaking, not interrupting 2) Maintain eye contract.
e other speakers, and no use of labeling or demeaning
d comments. It was interesting to watch and at the 3) Be respectful of opinions contrary to your own.
r end, even though some never changed their position, Remember that there is always a possibility that your
l recognized some merit in the opposing view and some opinion may have factual or logical fl aws. If we
are honest with ourselves, we can all think of times
even admitted a weakening in their initial position. when our opinions were not based on solid factual
e The midterm elections are ten days behind us, with or logical grounds. Genuinely listen to others and try
d some rather off ensive and even rancorous political to understand their reasons fully. Don’t just listen to
advertisements blasting us relentlessly on radio, look for weaknesses and to prepare your “rebuttal.”
television, newspaper, and internet. We are now 4) Use the discuss to learn and to share your ideas.
r
o leaving that environment and heading into the season Don’t expect the others to capitulate and agree
of Thanksgiving and Peace with Good Will to All. with you. Spent more time listening, than in talking
, How do we turn off the vile switch and turn on the persuasively. Recognize that we all have diff erent
, kindness switch? Some families have strict rules of not backgrounds and experiences that shape our opinions.
,
discussing politics at the holiday feasts. In Masonry, we People who have experienced economic depressions
forbid political and religious discussions in the lodge. and hardships from wars can have a diff erent opinion
The idea being that we meet as friends and brothers on on the cause and eff ects of economic failures and on
the ideals that unite us and avoid the topics that divide the long-term impacts of war—personally and socially.
us. This is a sound practice for in-lodge conduct, but Don’t expect a consensus. It is okay to disagree and
the reality is our society has many challenges that maintain diff ering viewpoints.
need thoughtful discussion and dedicated search for 5) Most importantly, all times be kind.
resolution. Once a challenge is identifi ed and proff ered
solutions advanced by a political party, that topic now This is not an exhaustive list, of course, but some
becomes politicized and off -bounds for meaningful thoughts on technics to restore and maintain civility
problem solving because it is considered politically in public discourse to explore solutions to society’s
divisive. problems.

Masonry teaches tolerance, loving kindness, Enjoy the seasons of Thanksgiving and Loving
patience, and forbearance. Our challenge as Masons Kindness and may you help spread these blessings to
dedicated to these principles is how we can engage in all you meet.
problem-solving of topics that have become political
hot potatoes? We can keep silent with our thoughts
secret to ourselves, or we can open up the discussion
and hope to avoid being labeled as politically partisan.
I think Masons have the behavioral discipline and